Questions arise when people tell you to love yourself before everyone else. You think, do you deserve it? And what exactly does it entail? People will preach about self-love but hardly do they tell you what it means at the very core. Perhaps this is because there is no single right answer when it comes to loving yourself — it is something you figure out for yourself by trying methods that work in addressing areas where you feel most weak.
What is important is that you treat yourself well, and do it consistently.
You Can Never Have Too Much Pep Talk
You do it when you are facing a difficult predicament. You need assurance that you will be okay and that you will crush whatever obstacle you will face that day. You reward yourself by going to your favourite Korean fast-food restaurant or shopping for new clothes. Why you are not doing this every day, however, is the big question.
There is no quota saying you can only hype yourself up twice a week so why are you saving the pep talk for the big scary occasions? Rather than cheering yourself up for only special occasions, normalise it by doing it every day. Make it a part of your morning routine. You can never tell yourself you deserve the best treatment and that you are a beautiful person too much. These are things you deserve and you must not let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Stop Apologising for Having an Opinion
This is especially true for women in the workplace. Somehow, before you even speak up, you have developed the habit of apologising for whatever you are about to say. By doing this, you are diminishing the value of your opinion and you are making it easy for others to dismiss you. Forget about words such as ‘I’m sorry, but…’ and go straight to the point. You deserve to have a say on the matter just as much as everyone else and you do not have to minimise yourself just so that others will not feel bad. Assert yourself in the workplace so that you will have the same chances as everyone else, and absolutely do not let anyone resort to mansplaining to quiet you down.
Focus on the Now
When you are facing stressful times, it can be so easy to get lost in all the anxiety and fear. Before you make a move, you are already thinking of how other people will react to it. No one who is anxious will imagine things going well. The problem with letting these negative thoughts take over is you are facing the day with less confidence. You work against yourself by listing all the possible reasons things could go wrong even if there is no indication that they will. It is difficult to get out of this kind of mindset, which is why it takes practice. Focus on what you have to do and think about the facts. Do something productive that will improve your situation so that your mind does not wander because when it does, that’s when it goes to the scary place.
Confidence is not something you can buy, but it sure is something you can work on. Instead of limiting yourself, be your own cheering squad.